Maximize Love, Manage Stress

Staying emotionally present for your child increases their happiness, strengthens their emotional health, and builds self-control skills.

Why this matters

Infants and toddlers thrive when their world feels loving, safe, and predictable. When we show love and respond to a child’s needs, they learn they can count on us. By responding in ways that fit their emotions, we teach children to manage their feelings and behavior. Feeling secure in their relationships gives them confidence to explore their surroundings and cope with challenges.

Young children are affected by our emotions, whether we are happy or upset. So, it is important for adults to find strategies to help us cope with stress. Caring for ourselves helps us stay calm and patient with our children.

Hold, kiss, and cuddle. Provide lots of loving attention and touch. Babies don’t get spoiled, so there is no need to hold back on showing love.

Respond to them. When your baby tries to get your attention, respond with loving eye contact, words, and actions. You can’t always drop what you are doing, but let your baby know that you hear them by talking back.

Cheer them on. Encourage your baby when they try new things. Reassure them that you are there if they look at you or gesture for help. “I see you pulling that car.” Give a big smile and kiss when they succeed!

Comfort them. Comfort your baby when they get fussy or cry. They might be tired, hungry, or uncomfortable. Try rocking them or singing a familiar song. It will take time to learn their signals and what works best.

Reassure when nervous. Your emotions affect how your baby feels about a situation. If you have to separate from your child, talk and smile to reassure them. Say “Mommy/Daddy will be back” so they learn to connect that promise with your return.

Put words to feelings. Pay attention to your child’s sounds, movements, and facial expressions. Put words to their feelings, preferences, and needs. “You were scared when the dog barked.” Or, “You like that carrot. You took two big bites.”

Play together. Hold your baby close, smile, and make silly sounds or faces. Join them on the floor and play games like “pee k-a-boo.” Take a break if they seem overwhelmed or try to look away.

Describe other people. Build your baby’s awareness of other people and children by describing their feelings and behavior. “Jade is laughing because the puppy licked her face.”

Role model. Your baby learns how to act by watching you. Model the values and behaviors you want to pass on to them, like being kind and generous, or handling challenges calmly (just do your best).

Have a routine. Routines help babies learn the rhythms of life. Once your baby is a few months old, have routines for daily activities like feeding, naps, bathing, and bedtime. Keep in mind that routines change as your baby gets older.

Redirect. Testing limits is a natural part of learning. Focus on the things your baby can do instead of the things you don’t what them to do. If necessary, try redirecting their behavior with another activity.

Self-care. Take time to care for yourself, even if you only have a few minutes. Call a friend, take a walk, stretch, eat healthy, breathe fully, or start a hobby. Talk to your doctor if you often feel sad or stressed.

Go easy on yourself. Life can feel overwhelming, and we all make mistakes. Focus on the big picture and be gentle with yourself when things don’t go as planned. Ask for help. All parents need help.

Moment of gratitude. Take a moment to think about a few things that make you grateful right now, big or small. Reflect and enjoy that feeling for a few minutes.

Plan to avoid stress. What situations tend to be stressful? Think about those situations ahead of time and plan how you can improve or avoid them. For example, avoid trips to the store right before your child’s nap time.

Snuggle up. Hug and cuddle with your toddler so they feel safe and loved.

Praise effort. Encourage your child when they try something new or difficult. Instead of doing it for them, help just enough so they can be successful. Then praise their effort until they succeed.

Talk about feelings. Toddlers have strong emotions. Name your child’s feelings and what caused them. Let them know that all feelings are OK, and that you are there for them whether they are happy or upset. Show what they could do to feel better, like hold a favorite object or take a deep breath.

Act out emotions. With an older toddler, act out different emotions for your child to guess. Pretend that you are happy, sad, excited, or tired. They can also take a turn being the actor.

Empathize. Build your child’s awareness of other people and children by describing their feelings and what caused
them. “Amaya is feeling sad because she misses her Daddy.”

Take turns. Look for ways to practice taking turns. For example, take turns adding blocks to a tower. Or when making dinner, take turns adding ingredients to the bowl. “My turn. Now your turn.”

Praise kindness. Talk to your child about ways to show kindness. Praise them when they do act with kindness or generosity. Be specific about what they did. “It was very nice to offer baby Sam your toy.”

Role model. Your child learns how to act by watching you. Model the values and behaviors you want to pass on to them, like being kind or generous, or handling challenges calmly (just do your best).

Involve them. Invite your toddler to be a “helper” with everyday tasks, like squeezing a sponge when you do the dishes or handing you clothes for the laundry. Even if it takes longer, they learn and have fun.

Offer choices. Offer choices like what to wear or eat, but give a limited number of options. For example, “It’s time for a snack. Do you want an apple or grapes?”

Have a routine. Routines help children (and adults) feel safe and organized. Try to have consistent times and ways of doing daily activities like feeding, bathing, reading, and bedtime.

Give a heads up. Think about transitions that are difficult for your child. As a transition approaches, let them know a few minutes ahead of time so they can prepare and finish what they are doing.

Guide behavior. Help your toddler start to build self-control by using simple rules consistently. For younger toddler: put a “No” in front of the thing you don’t want them to do and redirect them to another activity. For older toddler: give a simple explanation for the rule and what they could do instead. Praise good behavior.

Self-care. Take time to care for yourself, even if you only have a few minutes. Call a friend, take a walk, stretch, eat healthy, breathe fully, or start a hobby. Talk to your doctor if you often feel sad or stressed.

Go easy on yourself. Life can feel overwhelming, and we all make mistakes. Focus on the big picture and be gentle with yourself when things don’t go as planned. Ask for help. All parents need help.

Moment of gratitude. Take a moment to think about a few things that make you grateful right now, big or small. Reflect and enjoy that feeling for a few minutes.

Plan to avoid stress. What situations tend to be stressful for you? Think about those situations ahead of time and plan for how you can improve or avoid them. For example, avoid trips to the store right before your child’s nap time.

Put your love into words. Tell your child something specific that you love about them. What makes them special? What do you admire or enjoy most about them?

Praise effort. Encourage your child when they try something new or difficult. Instead of doing it for them, help just enough so they can be successful. Then praise their effort until they succeed.

Talk about feelings. Young children have strong emotions. Talk to your child about their and other people’s feelings. Let them know that all feelings are OK. See if they can come up with a word to describe a particular feeling.

Share strategies. When your child needs help managing strong feelings, you can suggest strategies like taking a deep breath, using their words, or drawing a picture. Praise them when they use a good strategy.

Prepare for new situations. It’s normal for preschoolers to feel nervous in new situations. Talk to your child ahead of time about what to expect. Ask what makes them nervous and work together to come up with ideas for what they could do.

Role model. Your child learns how to act by watching or listening to you. Model the values and behaviors you want them to learn, like being kind or generous, or handling challenges calmly (just do your best).

Talk about kindness. Talk to your child about kindness and what makes a good friend, like helping others, taking turns, and sharing. What ideas do they have?

Help identify solutions. When your child gets into conflicts with others, help them think about possible solutions. Give suggestions if needed (including asking an adult for help if they can’t solve it on their own).

Give some responsibilities. Let your child do some tasks around the house. For example, they can put their dirty clothes in the hamper. Things might take longer than when you help, but they are learning to be independent.

Ask for their opinion. Involve your child in making decisions. At the grocery store, they can help decide what to make for dinner–then work together to find the ingredients.

Have a routine. Routines help children (and adults) feel safe and organized. Try to have consistent times
and ways of doing daily activities like meals, bathing, reading, and bedtime. Your child can help make a chart with the steps for their routine.

Give a heads up. Let your child know a transition is coming. Say “We’re going to clean up for dinner in five minutes.” Be clear about what is coming next. “That means we will put the toys away and wash our hands.”

Explain rules. Help your child understand how certain rules allow everyone to work together and stay safe — like using “inside voices” or putting things away after using them.

Self-care. Take time to care for yourself, even if you only have a few minutes. Call a friend, take a walk, stretch, eat healthy, breathe fully, or start a hobby. Talk to your doctor if you often feel sad or stressed.

Go easy on yourself. Life can feel overwhelming, and we all make mistakes. Focus on the big picture and be gentle with yourself when things don’t go as planned. Ask for help. All parents need help at times.

Moment of gratitude. Take a moment to think about a few things that make you grateful right now, big or small. Reflect and enjoy that feeling for a few minutes.

Plan to avoid stress. What situations tend to be stressful? Think about those situations ahead of time. How can you improve or avoid them? For example, avoiding trips to the store right before your child’s nap time.